It’s true. Last week, two eyewitness videos appeared on YouTube showing the diminutive singer grievously attacking two men in New York City. Now literally fives of YouTubers across the globe have posted similar videos, in which many of the attackers don’t actually resemble Shakira in any way.
We can only conclude that Shakira is a shapeshifter and that you, reader, may be in danger even as you read this.
Look around you. Shakira could be anything - your Adam Lambert poster, your diet pills, any one of your porcelain unicorn figurines. If you suspect a unicorn figurine of being Shakira, DO NOT engage it in a phoned-in, atonal rap.
We haven’t heard from Wyclef Jean in days.And this is so unexpected. We assumed that Shakira Shakira Beyonce Beyonce Benecol Alhambras was lounging on some irradiated Colombian beach, dreaming up another album’s worth of songs about horses and thongs, advising Gordon Brown on public policy, and popping out her ribcage for passing children.
We can only conclude that Shakira is a shapeshifter and that you, reader, may be in danger even as you read this.
Look around you. Shakira could be anything - your Adam Lambert poster, your diet pills, any one of your porcelain unicorn figurines. If you suspect a unicorn figurine of being Shakira, DO NOT engage it in a phoned-in, atonal rap.
We haven’t heard from Wyclef Jean in days.And this is so unexpected. We assumed that Shakira Shakira Beyonce Beyonce Benecol Alhambras was lounging on some irradiated Colombian beach, dreaming up another album’s worth of songs about horses and thongs, advising Gordon Brown on public policy, and popping out her ribcage for passing children.
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